Randomocity: Lost in Target

 When I was younger, I was that kid whose name you heard called over the intercom at Target being asked to report to the front to meet their mother. (I was also that kid who would hide in the clothing racks and jump out and scare the shit out of people). The second we walked into the store I would get lured deep into the store far far away from my family; drawn by whatever shiny object caught my eye. As my ADD spiraled out of control, every item shouting my name, I would drift from department to department mesmerized by whatever managed to distract me next; time would lose all meaning; I would lose myself in the useless but fascinating items that Target had seen fit to provide me with.
Unfortunately, not much has changed. However, this past weekend I had a valid excuse: I was sleepy. See..I've been trying weawwy hard to go to bed early and wake up early and I've gotten half of the equation right (yay math skills); I've been getting up early but eh the other half is hit or miss. But I digress. On Saturday I went to Target to get 2 things. Well my usual Target didn't have what I needed so I Googled the next closest Target and went on my merry way. I got lost 4 times on my way which is embarassing enough but to make matters worse I had actually used my iPhone Map App to figure out how to get there and then had Sally my (not so) trusty GPS running the whole time to guide me to my destination. Needless to say, it was "not a fruitful endeavor" (FG). Anywho, I finally got to Target at 6:00 pm. I left the store at 8:00pm. I literally got lost in Target. Now, this is understandable if you're a child, blind, or suffering from dementia, but I am none of those things (I had my glasses on). It was so embarrasing. I got hopelessly turned around: up was down, east was west, left was red....you get the point. I was going to use  my Map App to guide me to the front of the store but I'm pretty sure Apple has yet to develop turn by turn directions for inside of stores.
I traversed the entire store but I'm happy to say I emerged (more or less) unscathed. Note: If anyone needs to know what aisle they sell Depends in just ask me!

Thats all for now folks
Thanks for reading!
~RRR~

P.S. I'm writing this at the library on campus because my computer battery adapter gave out (ironically just as I was ordering a new charger) and am currently sitting next to a guy who gives new meaning to the phrase "heavy breather". He sounds like a porn star circa the 1970s. YIKES