Sunday, July 31, 2011

Health Update

Dear Readers,
If you know me and are close to me in real life, then you probably know I haven't been doing super fabulously health-wise. If you don't know me in real life, well, you're just going to get to know me a whole lot better haha! 

      Have you been waiting with bated breath to find out the results of my fun tests from Wednesday?  I'm guessing you probably weren't lol but I'll pretend, just for a moment, that you were all on the edges of your seats! The whole testing process was as pleasant as can be expected and the staff at the hospital was top-notch!

It was so funny--as I was wheeled into the procedure room and they hooked me  up to "my own private oxygen bar" (as the nurse called it--shower curtain flavor she said) the doctor asked me: "What's been going on?" I, rather stupidly I might add, replied,"Do you mean in general?" The doctor laughed,"Oh yeah, what'd you do last night, what's your favorite TV show, what are your hopes and dreams! Silly, I meant what brought you to my procedure room?"

That definitely lightened the mood and after describing my inability to eat or drink and the constant acid reflux and heartburn I was experiencing despite taking Prilosec twice a day and chugging Maalox like a frat guy chugs cheap beer, they paused to make sure I was aware of the procedure they were doing, etc and then they administered some sedating medication and put a camera down my throat...and up elsewhere! Touchdown for the doctor!!!

When I woke up in the recovery room the first thing I asked the nice nurse as I opened my eyes was: "am I a hypochondriac?"
She looked at me quizzically and responded: "No (dramatic pause) there were some findings. Your father is on his way. You should rest."

Later, when my dad strode into the room, seeming to fill up the whole space with his tall frame and air of authority, my doctor came in with my test results and nifty pictures of my stomach and intestines. She spoke to my dad and my father complimented her on the recovery facilities: “These are way nicer than the ones we have at the hospital.”
 She told my dad how much sedation medication she had given me and my dad gave a low whistle and said to me; "You won't remember any of this or anything you studied before the procedure when you wake up tomorrow, the medicine causes antegrade amnesia." Fabulous, I thought to myself, I could have been relaxing when they ran that IV and gave me those enemas instead of studying. 

Then the doctor and my dad got down to business and my dad reviewed the results. I heard bits and pieces: "scalloping" "intestines""hernia" "motility""more testing"....and then I just slept. When the doctor left the nurse asked if I wanted juice. My dad told me to say yes so I said yes.

As the nurse went to get juice my dad told me: "They won't let you leave until you drink 2 glasses of juice." So even though I was scared to drink the juice (yep...scared. to. drink. juice (hey man acid reflux hurts)) I sucked it up and chugged that juice faster than you can say...chug. Then the nurse told me I could get dressed and my dad took me home and I slept all that day and the next day (after briefly waking up at 3 am and thinking it was 3 pm and getting really scared).

When I was more with it, i looked at the nifty pictures they took and read the results: Hiatal hernia (stomach in my esophogas) and scalloping of my intestines (which could possibly indicate Celiac disease).

                                        Here's a nifty pic of my stomach:

On Friday I met with my GI guy, Dr. Patel, and he said I don't have Celiac Disease (yay!!!!) but during the tests, my stomach didn't move at all and there was still food matter in it (remember I haven't eaten in forever) so he's pretty worried about that. See...your stomach breaks down food by churning (contracting and relaxing) as well as by chemical (acid) means. But they're worried my stomach isn't contracting which means my food is just sitting in my stomach for days on end...but they won't know for sure until they do  more tests (a 7 hour one) and I have to wait until AFTER my class finishes on August 5th because my teacher hates me and won't let me miss any more class!!

But yep, that's what's going on in my tummy tum!!!

Are you asleep and drooling on your computer yet?? ;-)

Well, stay tuned for more fun stuff haha! Tomorrow my dad and I are meeting with my professor (she wants all sorts of medical documentation that she by law can't have so that should be really interesting!!)

But that's all for now folks! Keep reading!!