Ouch so the title of my blog post made me chortle (you know those horribly acted Life Alert commercials?Heeeelllpp I've fallen and I can't get up...*extend arm weakly*) and laughing hurt like a bi-atch. (And when I yelled “ow” from the pain of laughing I guess I sounded like a cat because my cat started meowing at me (although that could be because he was concerned because he can always sense when I'm in pain)).
Anywho... back to the point...I feel like I should win an award because Tuesday (I think...) I fell and couldn't get up when I attempted to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I had just woken up after a long Sleeping Beauty-esque sleep. Picture it: Tempe, Arizona; the day: August 2nd, 2011
I woke up as I heard “Don’t worry ‘bout a thing ‘cuz every little thing’s gonna be alright” for the umpteenth time. Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds is my mom’s ringtone (every Saturday she’d crank up the Bob and all of us (all 4 kids and my mom and dad) would clean the house top to bottom). I immediately texted her back because I hate phone calls, and I assured her, yes I was alive despite the fact I’d been asleep for 24+ hours. She relayed the message to my dad.
I spent a little more time waking up until the “urgent pressure on my bladder” assured me I could wait no longer to make a much needed bathroom run…exactly 3 feet away from my bed.
So I crawl out from under my little burrow and as I approach the porcelain pedestal, I start feeling funky (ahem, funkier) and my vision starts dancing, going spotty and fading, and my body starts shaking and twitching and then my body goes numb and I lose all the strength in my body…Crap...I can't lean on my towel bar or I'll rip it out of the wall. I can just picture that happening so vividly. I should try to make it back to bed before I collapse.
Next thing I know, I’m waking up and, praise the Lord Hallelujah, I didn’t wet myself haha, but no seriously, I wake up sobbing hysterically and my back and ribs and my HEAD are throbbing and I’m covered in makeup (no, not my face, my body….I guess I pulled all my makeup off the counter (when I fell down and I had just washed my white rug). And the first thing I think is FUCK (pardon my French) my mom is going to kill me…there’s no way I didn’t get another concussion** (see note).
As I attempt to haul myself up, my back is screaming, so I pull my shirt up and I see big cuts up and down my back. My head starts throbbing…the throbbing morphs into a massive migraine: grab some Zomig, pull cap, insert into nose, pull trigger, toss away, pinch nose, tilt head forward, wait for relief. My ribs are so tender and sore it hurts to breath. As the day wears on it just gets worse.
Today aka Wednesday (since I haven't been to bed...can't sleep), I can’t touch (or even think about touching) my ribs and there are 2 big lumps on my head. I’m thinking I hit my head on the wall when I went down and then again on the floor.
I guess I can kiss my dreams of winning Miss America good-bye since I’m pretty sure you need poise for that haha! But no, seriously, I’ve been having this weird shaking dizziness for years and my mom says it’s because I stand up too fast…but nowadays, I can’t stand up fast lol so hmm (*strokes imaginary beard*)!
Who wants to see a picture of my back?
not my most flattering pic
& I didn't feel like taking a pic today of the bruising and bumps
That's All For Now Folks! Keep Reading and Commenting! Muwah!
**I had my first head injury (traumatic brain injury)@ age 8 months…then age 8…with multiple concussions in between (age 6, 9 &12, etc) and a major concussion @ age 17 and then after that @ ages 18, 19, & 20, &22. & Even a slight head bump now has a profound impact.